One dark day, in the middle of the night,
As I slept soundly, snuggled up tight,
My body stiffened with electric shock
As the buzzer blared from my cruel clock.
With scary hair and wobbly legs,
And a stomach that said, "Don't feed me eggs,"
I rolled outa bed like one big bruise,
And tripped over somebody's mammoth shoes!
I jumped in the shower with zero grace.
The warm water felt so good on my face.
I reached for something slimy and thin...
Did I forget to buy soap again?
The slippery fragment fell to the floor,
But with soap in my eyes, I saw no more
'Til my foot found the sliver of bubbly lye,
And I went flying with a startled cry.
My day was off to a champion start:
The hair dryer sparked, and fell apart;
The blender broke in the middle of 'spin'
No smoothie today; just coffee again.
With just enough time to find my shoes,
I spied them quickly. What wonderful news!
Donning my pumps with a confident smirk,
I hopped in the car and drove to work.
On time, I smiled as I walked in.
The boss glanced down with a wicked grin,
I looked, as she snickered, "I like your shoes;"
What?? ...one was black...and one was blue!
by Rebecca bryan-Howell